Clearing the clutter

This is the message I shared at church a few weeks ago.

I am your hands and feet … these are the words God said to me a few Sundays ago during worship. I should have brought them to the church at the time but I was unsure as I had always taken the other approach that we, the Christians, are God’s hands and feet and not the other way around. So I hesitated while I thought about that and then the opportunity was lost. But God doesn’t give up and he has reminded me of his words often since then.

I am going to bring a few scriptures he has shown me as I have pondered his words and share a brief testimony of how he touches our lives and brings encouragement even in the darkest moments.

The first scripture is from Psalm 37 V4 – Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Then in the same Psalm, Vs 23 – 26 we read: The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be cast down, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.

And finally, Prov 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

These verses tell me that God is ever present and when we put him first in everything and follow him, he does indeed become our hands and our feet. He directs the steps we take and the service we give through our actions. It’s a subtle difference from us being his hands and feet and I am not sure that I have fully grasped it yet. I do know however, that if we are to reach out to the lost, we will get our feet and hands dirty as we pass through the mess and dust of the world. But if he is our hands and our feet, then we will constantly be cleansed as we journey with him and are transformed into his likeness.

Many of you will be aware that my life has changed this year and I have become the hands and feet – and sometimes the eyes and ears – of my aged parents. My 89 year old dad has gone into permanent rest home care and my 92 year old mother and I have become a blended household ... We have bought a new place together and are still trying to make two homes fit into one almost three months after shifting in together. We have had two garage sales, redistributed bits and pieces among various family members, donated to charities and still I can’t park my car in the garage.

It’s been a challenging journey. We have all had to make sacrifices. Mum and I have had to clear the clutter from our two homes and adjust to living together again – something we haven’t done for more than 40 years. For Dad, his home is now a small room and his belongings are few.

I was visiting Dad one day when I noted that he was doing what appeared to be an inventory of his belongings. He opened each drawer and was checking that all was as it ought to be. That’s there and that’s there, he was saying as he touched his razor, his little radio, his wallet, and his glasses. I realised that he did this most times I visited and felt a moment’s sadness that his life was now condensed into such a tiny space. What an adjustment he has had to make, I thought to myself. Is this what it all comes down to in the end?

I looked around his room and saw the family photos on the wall, and one or two inexpensive trinkets given as gifts and always treasured. There is a hand carved horse pulling a wagon, made by an old friend who has been dead for years, a sand picture and paper weight with dancing dolphins. We have taken Dad other “treasures” to have around him (including his war medals) but they have always been sent back for one reason or another.

Then, as I was putting something away in his drawer, I spotted a small hand held cross just like this one, nestling in the corner nearest his bed. And I realised that Dad now has the greatest treasure of all. This cross - he calls it his comforter - was given to him last year when he was so ill we thought we were going to say goodbye. As he lay in his hospital bed, he held on to that cross and often we would see his hand searching for it when it had fallen from his grasp. To understand the significance of this you need to know that my Dad has avoided churches and anything religious ever since he was a boy. He has always stated that if everyone followed Jesus’ example, the world would be a better place but never went to church until he started accompanying my mother in the last few years – mainly because he didn’t like being by himself at home. More than 25 years ago, I had a dream in which he and my Mum came through my back door with him grinning like a Cheshire cat. Go on, tell Barbara your news, said my mother. And in this dream, he announced “I have decided to follow your God for all the days I have left”. The words were so unusual and not the way my father would normally speak and that vision and what I believe was a promise from God, has never left me. Dad is now nearly 90. He doesn’t have that many days left. I believe God is touching him in a very special way.

For him to accept that little cross is a miracle. Now it goes with him wherever he goes … it’s in his pocket whenever he leaves his room. I often see him patting his pockets just checking on its whereabouts. Now he knows what he values and he wants nothing more. I have never heard him complain or lament about the things he no longer has but he does get anxious if he cannot feel that cross when he seeks it out.

As I have been reflecting on this, God reminded me that we come into this life with nothing and we take nothing with us when we leave. And, although we may leave some material wealth for others to enjoy, the most important legacy we can leave is how we lived our lives. When we are gone, all that remains of us are the memories. And it hit me again that without God we have nothing – everything we gather in the course of a lifetime is temporary and can be gone in an instant. But God is eternal and unchanging. And just as I am now the hands and feet of my parents – doing the things that they can no longer do and watching out for them at all times, so is God being my hands and feet and watching over me – and you.

As the stewards serve the communion this morning, I am going to read Psalm 37. When I have finished, eat and drink together in joyful remembrance of what Christ did for us that day at Calvary.

So much to catch up on

So much time has passed without me blogging and now all of a sudden I feel inspired to write again. Not sure how long this will last so there will be a mad rush of posts over the next little while.
One of the special things that happened for me in 2011 was my 60th birthday.  I had hoped to reach the magical 69.9kg in time for the event but didnt quite manage that.  However, I had such a wonderful time with family who also happen to be my best friends as well. And the icing on the cake was the birthday song my daughters wrote and sang ... it made me cry then and I still shed a tear when I listen again.  Very special.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0mSqWST7x0

2012 ... A new year .... A new me

My last post indicated I was on a weight loss and fitness programme and I was pretty excited about reaching 79kgs. I am now almost 70kg and hoping to see the sexy 60s sometime in the next few weeks. I am a new shape and have a new found confidence to go with it. I will put up some photos as soon as I work out how to do that on an iPad ... My 60th birthday gift from my children in October. I am still learning how to drive this thing and as the need arises, I take the time to work it out. Maisy has just decided to show me how much she loves me and is making typing very difficult. Time to do something else for a while but I will be back ...am feeling inspired to write at present.

That magic 7 ....

It's 8.30am on a cool but fine and clear Good Friday.  Maisy is curled up beside me on the bed, I've had my breakfast and am considering getting up.  That in itself is a miracle as Fridays are my day off and I NEVER get out of bed before 9.30am.  I've been awake since 6am. Goodness knows why ... I did try to go back to sleep but it didnt happen.
You might remember an earlier post when I started on a weight loss & exercise programme with daughter Hannah. That was back in September last year. Well, she kept going and I slacked off.  We started at the same weight and probably fitness level. Now she is 16.6kg lighter and is RUNNING every other day!! What an inspiration and I have my motivation back.  I did lose a few kgs at the time and managed to maintain the new weight so I wasnt a total failure .....Now I can report I am down to 79.6kg (started at 85.2 I think) and feeling so much better. I am walking most days and counting calories.  I am not depriving myself of little treats - I had a creme egg last night and have another one to enjoy sometime over the weekend. I am making better eating choices and my meal portions are smaller.  People are just starting to notice - and it feels good!
Today a friend and I are going to tackle some steep steps. We are heading to the Durie Hill steps - lots of them and very steep. It will be hard work and I must remember to take my asthma inhaler.  Then we are off to McDs for coffee and maybe a wrap or something ....
Thanks Hannah for the encouragement and for making me think about what is important. Your little pep talks have been good for me.

What I have learned in the past month

This is probably meant to be a deep and meaningful topic but it's a wet windy Sunday morning, I am still in bed and my thoughts are not that deep at the moment. Maybe they should be as I prepare for church but sorry - it's not going to happen this morning.

So, what have I learned in the past month?  Probably the most exciting thing is applique.  I am a quilter and always looking for fresh inspiration. Well, applique has interested me for years but I have never had the knowledge to know where or how to start and so I have tended to put it in the "too hard" basket. Not because I have been too scared to try but because there have always been so many other projects on my "to do list" that were achievable quickly.



But one day during the holidays recently, my friend and I spent a day together sewing.  She has done lots of applique work and so under her tuition, I got started. Now I cannot stop!  I have two half completed applique projects on the go.  Both completely different to each and both giving me equal pleasure in the creation.



This shows one of the projects I am working on - ably "assisted" by my two cats



I do not want to add these projects to the other four uncompleted ones so am determined to finish them before starting any more.

Oh, and I have also learned that I am fast becoming the mad cat woman of Wanganui .... I only have two but they dominate much of my conversation and time. Wouldnt be without them!

Something that makes me feel better

I don't have many "blue" days. Thankfully they are few and far between these days and generally I am very contented with my lot. The hardest days are when I have had family or close friends staying - and they leave. All of a sudden the house is empty and quiet again and I feel sad.

So, how do I cope on those days and what makes me feel better? Depending on the weather and what else is going on in my life at the time, I do one or more of the following:

• I put on my favourite CDs and play them really loudly while I strip beds and get the house back to normal.
• I leave everything just as it is, grab my purse and head out for some comfort shopping
• Ring a girlfriend and go out for coffee
• Visit one of my four daughters or my parents

I am at my loneliest when I am sad as there is no one else in the house to share the moment with. But I do have two cats and a dog - and they are pretty good listeners and allow me to cuddle them at the same time.

Other things that make me feel better are the spontaneous texts and phone calls from family and friends, the drop in visits, the invitations out, a beautiful flower.

I have simple needs - the company of those I love (and who love me) is all I need to make me feel better.

I must try harder

You would never know that I love to write - not if this blog is anything to go by. I write all the time in my head but it never seems to take on a written format. Maybe I should have one of those small battery operated dictaphones so that I can at least capture my thoughts as they occur.

I have started walking to work at least one day a week (and sometimes more often) and during the 30 minute walk each way, I compose children's stories, sermons, reflective thoughts and, sometimes, poems and song lyrics. When I find the time to start putting these down in writing, it never comes out the same. I find the shower is also a great place in which to be creative. Why is it that I can present a communion message without notes (speaking from the heart) when I am in the shower but become tongue tied and note reliant when standing in front of the congregation?

Anyway, I digress .... it seems I am not the only one to have writer's block. Number four child has a blog [well, 2 blogs actually] which is really readable and I am going to copy her latest challenge which is designed to help break the blockage. Sorry Hannah - hope you don't mind. I have linked to your first post and hopefully anyone interested will be able to find the rest ...

http://hannahsreductions.blogspot.com/2011/01/boring-blogger.html

So, without further ado, here is blog #1 ... What would be found in my purse?

• Hmmm - lots of discarded till receipts - always kept "just in case" - of what I have no idea. But sure as eggs, as soon as I discard one, I need it!
• My wallet of course plus a small coin purse just in case I want to leave the handbag behind and carry something smaller in my pocket.
• Three sets of keys - my house and car keys, and then keys to offices of both of my jobs.
• Cellphone
• Camera - you just never know when you might need this.
• Makeup bag with medical supplies instead of makeup. Asthma medication, hayfever pills, panadol, throat and cough lozenges, breath fresheners, and eye drops.
• A small notebook - very useful for all sorts of things.
• Pen or two (or three)
• Sometimes there might be a zucchini or other vegetable from my garden - but these of course are not the norm :-)

So very different to what I would have had in there even five years ago. There is no doubt that age determines our purse contents.

Will be back tomorrow with blog #2 - what wouild make me feel better.....